My work of Fiction (the start)

THose of you that know me well know I am bored at work. I always wanted to be a fiction writer but it is like dooming yourself to a life of starvation and hunger. So I am trying to do something in spare time (full time career and a one year old that isn’t much). But below is my first attempt. Be gentle its a work in progress….And far far far from finished (probably be near 130,000 words when done.

Father Frank Santini had been hearing confessions and offering absolution to his parishioners for almost fifteen years. Gradually over that time he believed that the parishioners, and most of modern society, were looking for a free ride. In fact many of the shrinking number of people that came to confession seeking a ‘get out of jail free’ method of behaving however they wanted; with no fear of long term consequences, at least in the eyes of the creator. His training, both formal and on the job as a Catholic Priest allow him to cope with what he had heard, then of course guide those confessors to the right and Christian path. None of that came close to helping him understand what to do with the next confession he was going to hear.

He sat in the confessional in the manner of his normal routine and slid the divider across to see a woman who had did not feel the need for the privacy screen. Those who did not want to hide their face were usually the most repentant, a good start for this woman he thought. He began with the customary exchanges finishing by asking, “What sins have you come to confess my child?”

“Father I have been involved in sins of the flesh.” The strikingly beautiful woman claimed with head held high, while making direct eye contact with no measureable regret in her voice. This caused Father Frank to believe he should find out more before offering a way to redeem this woman in the eyes of God.

“Without being explicit; speaking in the most general terms possible what kind of sins of the flesh?” He probed.

“Well Father you see I am married.” some measure of regret, however slight, began to appear. The difficulty was that it was not immediately apparent if she was regretful of the sins or being married.

“He works very hard,” she continued in her New England accent, “and makes an amazing amount of money to put us in a lifestyle I enjoy very much. However Father it isn’t enough for me. I love my husband but I also love adrenaline so I began by cheating on him. The trilling possibility of getting caught having sex with another man just seemed dangerous and wicked exciting.”

“Oh dear, surely there are other ways to satisfy this desire for danger and thrill you have. These desires are not sins but your method of fulfilling them certainly is.” He stated thinking it was the weakest thing he could have said to such a woman. He continued to quickly try to come up with something better to solve the challenge that God had provided for him in the form of this woman.

“Father there is more. I found that so exciting at first but after some time that no longer held much of a thrill for me. So I started going about it in a way I thought would get me caught. I kept coming closer to that line without crossing it all the time. Then one day he walked in on me and a man in our living room; all he did was join in and the thrill of two men penetrating me at once was amazing. So after that event I started thinking about how to increase the danger level. Some short time later I started working as a prostitute. Oh we don’t need the money I make, my husband doesn’t even know about it. But the danger involved is just something I can’t seem to get away from. It makes me feel so alive Father. It is for this sin I ask forgiveness.”

Father Frank felt he was going to explode. He had no idea what to do with such a person. He began by thinking that God wanted to test him in some fashion and this woman was the manifestation of that test. “I implore you to stop this behavior at once. Then seek professional help. I can assist you in finding this help if you can’t find it on your own. However, if you really want to be forgiven in the eyes of God your first step is to stop.”

“But Father, I thought if I came in and just said some prayers I would be forgiven and could still go to Heaven someday when I die.” She asked like a child asking to get out of a grounding given for staying out past curfew because after all she was only fifteen minutes late.

He began to shake beneath his robes, “Confession is not a free pass. One must actually be regretful of their sins then repent for them before forgiveness can be fully realized.”

“What happens if I don’t want to stop? I still want to keep doing it but I want you to forgive me. This weekend down in Boston’s theatre district will be great, there is a new opening, and I can’t pass that up!” She said in a way that made him realize she had no clue what being sorry about something meant. Her world obviously revolved around her and there was no higher power or more important thing than her pleasure.

“If you intend to continue I am afraid I can offer you no forgiveness.”

“Oh well, I guess I should go then. Thanks anyway Father.” And she left.

Father Santini was very glad confession hours had passed. This Friday more than any he could remember he needed time to pray for guidance.


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